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|Cilantro. The most offensive food known to man.|
Welcome! You are visiting the web site of a growing community of cilantro haters. We are, however, rational people. In fact, we are the most rational people on earth. No normally functioning human being would ever in a lifetime consider cilantro edible.
It's the reason you are here. Please browse the site in support of your anti-cilantro confederates and help spread the word any way you can:
More about stories: We are sorry. Very sorry. Because there is a backlog of stories that haven't been approved. Ok!
So here's what we did about it! Rather than continue to not approve stories, we're going to start releasing them onto
the stories page. A few every day! That means new stories will show up on the front page every day for weeks and months!
Then YOU can help upvote the great ones and downvote the ones that aren't stories at all but actually someone's Thursday
to-do list or their journal entry about unclean thoughts they're having about their new boss. Those are great things,
they just don't belong on the stories page. Also! Some of the stories are more like comments
and might get moved to the Comments page.
We made some changes to the Stories page! Now you can upvote/downvote stories!
You must be a registered member and logged in. We cleaned things up a little bit. Also, we now link your member
profile to the story you submit as long as you're logged in when you submit it.
The changes are good but we're not heroes. You are the real heroes for continuing to use a website that
hasn't been redesigned in 10 years and originally programmed on a napkin! (Some parts of the website are still
running off the original napkin)
Sometimes people contact us but they don't leave their contact information. Read their
emails here and help us find them!
Facebook. Facebook! Now you can log into your IHC account using Facebook. No more IHC
account names and passwords to remember! Have an account already? Then log in
with your email address and click
"Link to Facebook Account" at the top of your My Account page. OR, if you're new to IHC,
create a new account by logging in to Facebook first.
Don't want to create an account? We don't blame you! Just click "Like"
in the top left corner of any page. Nobody will know the difference.
10/10/2011: Non-cilantro related news update! Cilantro is a bane to be sure, but some scourges are even more sinister. IHC friend Amit is searching for a marrow match but people of south asian descent are severely underrepresented in the registry. Please consider becoming a registered marrow donor (regardless of your ethnic heritage) in order to help him and everyone in search of a match. Let's grow a donor community as strong and as passionate as IHC!
Update: Amit was matched to a donor! Please consider registering as a willing marrow donor in case your DNA can help another amazing person looking for a match!
So about 150 of you got spammed via your profile comments. We sincerely apologize. We try really hard to keep spammers from getting through. In fact, it's so hard for spammers to spam you that they have to do it by hand which is why only 150 of you were affected, and it's why it took the spammer about 2 hours to do it. But we'll try even harder to stop them.
We're not going to pretend like we didn't just add ads to the site. We added ads. They're on the left side. You can see them if you look over there. We're not going to say anything about them - just know that they're there now and they're probably not going to hurt anyone or get all up in anyone's business but you should be aware of their existence so that you can make informed decisions but for the most part they'll mind their own business in the side over there and you should mind yours and we're not going to say any more about it. Except for one more thing: that we are aware that sometimes the ads are for cilantro and that ads for cilantro here are both tragic and ironic. Google HAS A SOLUTION and we are working on addressing that. Your input about the ads are welcome because we like you!
Ok. Now that we're back we're going to celebrate. How? Oh boy. Let's just say it'll be a "contest" where you submit "your best IHateCilantro.com design" and a "winner is chosen" and given a "prize" but that's all we can tell you right now, ok? It hasn't officially begun yet but if you're reading this and feeling super inspired then listen up: We want to revamp the merch. The current merch is great, don't get us wrong. We wear it all the time but it could be a little more... hip. With it. You know. We don't have prize ideas yet so now's a good time to suggest prizes. You'll definitely get an IHC pin, duh. Also, you'll obviously get a free piece of merch (with your design). Anyway, if you already have a design (what?!) then shoot us a message and we'll give you further instructions. Ok that's it for now! Sh.
Wow. Hey! Did you miss us? I bet you DID! We missed you too! Things are better - they're not perfect. But close. We lost some stuff b/c of haxorz that possibly had everything to do with WordPress. We weren't even using WordPress. We're not saying WordPress sucks but you are free to draw your own conclusions. On a related note - we can't remember if there were news updates after 12/3/2008? Anybody know? Contact Us! Ok back to hating cilantro ppl. For serious now. You have lots of work to do. Also, btw, your profile pic may not be your profile pic. But we fixed it so now that will never happen again so please. Show us your face.
For your statistical merriment, IHateCilantro.com added a new graph to the stats page. It's a pie chart. It's blue. It shows you how many people opted to receive the newsletter. The newsletter is a sore point. There have only been 2 newsletters. IHateCilantro.com doesn't want to inundate you with anti-cilantro news. You already get a lot of email... Facebook notifications, credit card statements, MeetUp events. But check out the stats page. Did you opt out of the newsletter? You're in the pie.
There hasn't been any news for awhile. IHateCilantro.com relocated. Nothing happened to it. It's still HERE. It just moved. Nothing is NEW with IHateCilantro.com. Just the same ol' same old. Same fight, different day. What IHateCilantro.com would like to do is applaud everybody on their haikus. They are wonderful. The IHateCilantro.com refrigerator is crowded with them but that doesn't mean you should stop. What it MEANS is that IHateCilantro.com needs a new refrigerator. That would make certain people happy. Certain people think IHateCilantro.com is too skinny but it's all just a matter of perspective.
05/27/2008:IHC staff are noticing that the membership count is creeping precariously close to 2,000. What's more worrisome than big numbers alone is that no celebration's been planned yet to mark the event. 2,000 is a lot. Like, a lot a lot. If the staff collected 2,000 of anything and shoved it into your gym locker you'd be miffed. And with good reason. That locker's for your sweats and the Shaws card that your gym crush dropped while walking out the door and which you're just waiting for the right time and moment to gallantly return. "OMG, you found my Shaws card! And the bar code's been fixed so it scans now. And with this new polycarbonate fiber coating it won't scratch as easily. How can I ever repay you?" You need space for those things. You pay good money for that locker. See how big of a deal 2,000 is? Use the Contact Us form to share your ideas. Maybe an IHC ad in a local high school yearbook? An IHC geocache? An IHC temporary tattoo?
05/07/08: Frequently, IHC gets anti-IHC love notes. The love notes aren't necessarily pro-cilantro. Often, they're anti-website. Regardless, with the advent of the Contact Us form and the anonymity it provides, nobody who writes anti-IHC or pro-cilantro notes leaves their email address with us. IHC encourages everyone to leave their email address. IHC staff might not write back, but they will certainly not mock you or make derisive comments about your height. We only desire to continue the dialogue. IHC is an anti-slander zone and will not punish you for sharing your negative views of IHC or positive views about cilantro no matter how much you deserve it.
04/30/08: TV in the UK contacted IHC to let the staff know that Tim Lovejoy or his friends on Something For The Weekend (BBC2) would be making specific references to this website on their show. Not only are UK channels unavailable on the IHC office TV but the internet's going rate for a British broadcast is $50 per month. Princess Productions is kindly mailing the DVD to IHC headquarters. After we play it backwards and find all the coded messages we'll censor it appropriately and upload it to the website to the extent that modern technology allows. ETA: 7 to 10 days.
04/07/08: IHC suffered a time leap. Some news items from the past were lost in a dimensional wrinkle. [Most items were recovered using the dimensional iron].
08/06/07: The picture upload feature was accidentally broken for months and nobody said anything which means most new members are just displaying the default picture. Look, we want you to express yourself, ok? If you think the bare minimum is enough, then ok. But some people choose to upload a picture and we encourage that, ok? You do want to express yourself, don't you?
Login, upload a picture, then finish your TPS reports.
04/13/07: IHC is pulling an all nighter to finish its taxes but the staff would like everyone to know that nothing is more taxing than spotting surreptitious cilantro secretly sequestered in your staff's supposedly savory soup.
02/01/07: After digesting inordinate amounts of spam IHC now fully appreciates the value of a "Contact Us" form. IHC now has a "Contact Us" form for your (our) convenience here. Update: If you sent a message before 1AM EST, Feb 3 then we didn't get it! Please send it again.
10/25/06: Users with Yahoo email addresses might not receive their membership confirmation email. If you didn't receive your membership confirmation email, check your SPAM folder. If you still can't find it (sort by date and go back to the year 2007) then contact IHC.
10/23/06: Speaking of the member map, IHateCilantro now uses your zip code to figure out what town you live in (IHateCilantro is more like a detective or census worker and less like a stalker so don't freak out. All you ever do is freak out.) and then appropriately plot your location. Obviously this only works for the United States. We still don't really know the best way to automatically plot foreign locations on the map. If you know of a free database of foreign cities with latitudes and longitudes then please drop our mapologist a line. He does all the mapping, the mapologist. He's certified in mapology. And anthropology. And germ warfare.
08/25/06: People, the member map was broken for like a month and nobody told us. We've got a lot of caviar to eat and ferraris to drive and the staff can't pick up on every minute detail. Don't be shy, k?
07/31/06: Are you visiting IHateCilantro.com from outside the United States? Was it coriander you used to make voodoo dolls of and chop finely before pureeing? For you, IHC is now accessible through IHateCoriander.com.
07/29/06, 05:31PM EST: You can pay interns in fish sticks but sometimes they do things like delete the entire IHC user database. Everything should be restored by the end of the weekend [Check]. The interns were working on an advanced site feature.
05/17/06: In development: Our unbiased research section. We're not afraid of facts and truth! To prove it, everybody is invited to browse and contribute links and cited sources of information about cilantro and it's unrivaled ability to be crappy.
05/07/06: It happened. Due to popular demand the staff at IHateCilantro.com started an online store at cafepress.com! Let us know if you have any specific requests.
05/05/06: See what the media has to say about this scourge!
04/19/06: Bear with us! Since the mention of IHC on BoingBoing our interns are having trouble finishing their final projects for history class (dioramas portraying the emotional disillusionment feltby monkfish in the Olympic Peninsula during the flood of failed environmental legislation that occurred in the late 70s and early 80s). Their inboxesare filling up, their pink and green PEBLs are ringing off the hooks, and the statiticians can't crunch numbers fast enough and still have the time tocondescendingly over-explain simple concepts to the CEOs.
We'll get to everyone, but expect some delays while we hire more
monkeys staff to operate the machinery and keep the peanut butter dispensers full.
02/22/06: There's a new pie chart of what our members think cilantro tastes like!
01/23/06: Instantly find members in your area using Google maps!
12/23/05: Check out the community stats to find out at a glance how strong this movement really is, and who makes up our community! (Fun graphics guaranteed! Flash required!)
11/30/05: IHateCilantro is on MySpace.com! Log in to or register with MySpace.com and search for users by email address (firstname.lastname@example.org) to add IHC as a friend! If IHC is not your friend then what are you doing here?