As Jesus lay onthe cross, his last words whispered:"Cilantro did this."
I did dream last nightof burning cilantro fields,and joy did find me
There cannot be agod, for he would not do thisto any creature
In my mouth; I wantto vomit you into hellthat you may suffer
Peace on earth hinderedby your green, leafy tendrils;I will destroy you
Green, green flaky fiend,hatred and contempt flowingthrough my veins always
Stalin and Hitlerwere bad, but nothing comparesto this wretched crop
Fiend, I reject you!Wicked villain that you are,fuck your green bullshit
Deplorable herb, makes me want to kill myself;fuck you, cilantro
As “Coriander,Traditional Asian spice,”It still tastes like shit.
Wait, am I in hell?Or am I at Chipotle?The same place, really.
Suspicious green flecksFloating in my chicken soup--Are you kidding me?
The next time I hear,"But you'll like it in this dish!"--I will shank a bitch.
Fancy garnish? Fine--Simply say so on the menu!Now is that so hard?
Dear food truck ladies,It doesn't make it special:Burrito fail.
Swanky eateriesUse it in place of parsley ...I send that shit back.
cat-piss flavourA devilish soup garnishI pick that shit out
Looks innocuousTastes like skunk-sprayed-styrofoamNo one understands
My best friend ruined itTold me it tastes like metalCan't eat anymore
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