If cilantro were a historical malevolent dictator, who would it be? Why?
If Cilantro were to play the role of a malevolent dictator, it would most definitely be Caligula. Caligula was famous for his nonsensical brutality, as well as for his infatuation with his sister. The reason I choose him is because if every heinous act he ever committed were all compounded into the form of a flavor, it would almost be as repulsive as that of the sickly green garnish. Of all malevolent dictators compounded into flavors, his would most nearly equal that of cilantro
My cilantro story, first experience, recent anecdote, rant, etc...
I'm almost certain I must have come across cilantro at least once before my memory began recording culinary experiences...and I hope, If I indeed did, that I made a terrible scene, and I'm confident I did.
My first memorable encounter with the unholy weed came when I was 11, and at a party hosted by friends of my parents. I saw, as soon as I had entered the 5 bedroom 2 1/2 bath, the entreating bar filled with every imaginable snack. My eye, regrettably, was drawn to the lawn-green mush, speckled with red and yellow. Salsa, I thought, and adjacent to the large bowl was another of equal size, containing tortilla chips; I was convinced. I began to heap masses of the green much onto my plate, as well as the amount of chips I deemed necessary. I thence moved on to the prospect in front of me, and heaped as much green stuff onto the largest chip I had, and, expectant of a medley of delicious flavor, devoured the over ladened chip...
It's hard to describe my initial reaction..I think 'surprise' most accurately sums it up. Surprise that the sacred dip could harbor such disagreeable flavor! I almost gagged, but restrained myself and stealthily ran to the nearest bathroom, and expelled the horrid contents as quickly as I could. I tried to wash down the lingering taste with all manner of beverages, but nothing would work...My mouth was cursed for the remainder of the evening..
It wasn't until the next day I found out what had ruined my night....cilantro
My battle with the mouth-wrenching weed has continued ever since, and salsa, no matter the color, always brings back the painful memory..
More about me:
I was really disappointed when I first tried Chipotle, because all my friends had told me how good it was...
I knew at once what corrupted the otherwise delicious burrito, and had to give it to the fat kid in my group, Chris..