Cilantro NO!
IHateCilantro.com

Cilantro, NO!

Supporting the fight against cilantro!

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A Story


Billy Bob looked at the Nasty hawk in his hands and felt gloomy.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his Bright surroundings. He had always hated Loud Grocery Store with its snotacular, sore Smelly. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel gloomy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Cilantro . Cilantro was a hilarious banker with solid eyebrows and brunette legs.

Billy gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a rude, energetic, squash drinker with pointy eyebrows and hairy legs. His friends saw him as a jealous, joyous juggler. Once, he had even helped a poised old lady recover from a flying accident.

But not even a rude person who had once helped a poised old lady recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Cilantro had in store today.

The sleet rained like hopping mice, making Billy stuffy.

As Billy stepped outside and Cilantro came closer, he could see the whispering smile on her face.

Cilantro gazed with the affection of 9566 down to earth anxious aardvarks. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want To be eaten."

Billy looked back, even more stuffy and still fingering the Nasty hawk. "Cilantro, I hate you and you taste like ass," he replied.

They looked at each other with dank feelings, like two cloudy, crowded cats sleeping at a very admirable bar mitzvah, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two rude uncles bopping to the beat.

Suddenly, Cilantro lunged forward and tried to punch Billy in the face. Quickly, Billy grabbed the Nasty hawk and brought it down on Cilantro's skull.

Cilantro's solid eyebrows trembled and her brunette legs wobbled. She looked dark, her emotions raw like a pong, petite piano.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Cilantro was dead.

Billy Bob went back inside and made himself a nice beaker of squash.