Cilantro NO!

Cilantro, NO!

Supporting the fight against cilantro!

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Username: God Hates Cilantro
Member for: 10.13 years
Last Login: July 30, 2009
Location: Portland  OR
United States
Stance: I hate cilantro.

What does cilantro taste like to you?
Most Hated Cilantro-Containing Food:
ALL, since cilantro spontaneously emerged on the day God rested.
Do people in your family hate cilantro, too? Who?
No! They love that herbal raw sewage. They are truly genetic anomalies. And they have no shame.
If cilantro were a historical malevolent dictator, who would it be? Why?
Dick Cheney, because, like Cheney, cilantro will shoot someone in the face and choke on its own vomit.
My cilantro story, first experience, recent anecdote, rant, etc...
Often over the years I suffered the following reaction when I went to Mexican or certain Asian restaurants: Suddenly the most vile taste overwhelmed my taste buds and those beautiful buds became stems and seeds; I sweated like a pig in a sauna; intense nausea overtook my soul; every follicle sprouted fur; I howled at my moon-shaped plate; my eyes rolled up like stuffed cabbages; I attacked the people dining with me, the restaurant clientele and the employees; I spent many an overnight at the animal control shelter, only to be released the next morning when I had returned to my regular human form. One time I came within a pawprint of being euthanized. Thank God this all stopped when I realized I'd eaten CILANTRO!
More about me:
MORE ABOUT ME? You must be kidding! You could be a cilantro-cop! And besides, if it's really true that we cilantro HATERS have an extra gene that makes us highest on the evolutionary scale, then the lowly cilantro LOVERS will eventually turn their gene pool into a CESSPOOL! As it is written: "They who partake of the serrated leaf shall become as feces." Then and only then will we cilantro haters be left; obviously this will signal the new era of peace and good will. All this was predicted by Nostradamus, Edgar Cayce and the Bible, all of whom DESPISE cilantro. It's true: ask any Bible---or ANY religious text. Then you'll know what many have come to understand: GOD HATES CILANTRO.
My Haikus
Eradicate it
from your food and from your life
your toilet thanks you
No evil please in
the age of Aquarius.
Die, cilantro, die!

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