Cilantro NO!
IHateCilantro.com

Cilantro, NO!

Supporting the fight against cilantro!

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A Story




I come from a background of strong Mexican heritage, unfortunately, I do NOT share their same love of...CILANTRO.

Ever since I can remember, I always disliked this leafy green demon. Growing up I cringed and wined when my mother bought BUNCHES ::shiver:: from the grocery store. To this day when I know her plans, I remove myself from the greeny situation and wonder else where.

and WHY do restaurants INSIST on putting it in EVERYTHING they claim is...a MEXICAN DISH? WHY CHIPOTLE, WHY must you mix it IN with the WHITE RICE!? This is a terrible, TERRIBLE way to introduce this horror everyday to unknowing customers.

OH. oh. but THE WORST dining experience OF MY LIFE happened at a Bar (which will remain nameless)that tried to FOOL ME. but oh. OH I KNOW my CILANTRO.

Seemingly innocent, I order an Asian flat bread pizza, piled with deliciousness and topped with cilantro HOLD THE PHONE, "Can I please, please get this without the cilantro?" in which the server replies, "sure thing!".

SO. Our food arrives. WHAT THE FUCK DO I SEE ON MY FLAT BREAD PIZZA???!?!? Piles, I kid you not an entire PILE covering the length of the ENTIRE flat bread. I'm talking like, as high as they could possibly pile ::shivers:: of cilantro.

At this point, I am like, "ok. ok, COULD be parsley, maybe I am over-reacting." I shove this maddness off, take a small bite, catch this "parsley" on the corner of my piece and WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW. Livid. I. Am. Livid. About to throw an absolute FIT. I tone it down, trying not to sound like one of THOSE people (but fuck it right? ITS CILANTRO.)

So she tells me, "Oh...YEAH I could have SWORE that was cilantro. I even asked the cooks and they said, 'no its not cilantro'."

At this point I did not know how to react. SERIOUSLY WOMEN. you THINK and were pretty sure it WAS CILANTRO but you SERVED ME THIS VILE DISH ANYWAY?!?!

10 minutes later the new flat bread arrived cilantro-less, as everything in life should be.

I still cannot... I just.... Mortified and scarred for life.

Thank you for reading my story.

and OH. SERVERS OF THE WORLD:

Cilantro DOES NOT EQUAL parsley.

The End.