February 08, 2014
It was Christmas Eve, 1994. The snow heavy and the spirits were high. The inlaws were in town and I really wanted to impress them with my high quality cooking skills. The dish; my special Christmas Jumbalaya. I had made this dish many a time and it has always been a favorite of anyone who ate it. This time, I tried to spice it up a bit. I heard through the grapevine that cilantro could make any dish better. So I thought to myself, "fuck it why not?" As I mixed all the goodies in the pot of jumbalaya I finally got to the end; the cilantro. I put it in and laid it on the table so that we could dig in. The children were eager for the next day and the inlaws were hungry as ever. As we finished saying grace, everyone dug in. The look on their faces was absolute terror. The kids spit it out and the adults could simply not bear the taste. As I took my first bite, I experienced the taste of a dead raccoon mixed with skunk and garbage. From that day on, I hate hate HATE the thought of cilantro. Like, LITERALLY I would rather stick my face down the garbage disposal than ever eat that shit again.