February 16, 2014
It was a dark day when the being know as 'cilantro' entered my life. It was night, a Saturday (all of them, the bitches) and I was alone. I was lost and I had ventured out to the part of town no one ever goes for there were tales of a herb so pungently grotesque that the sun would never shine where it was growing. There was a heavy scent of what can only be described as the seal of an envelope, being amplified through my tiny nostrils. When I had passed the old battery factory I saw it, a great beast of a herb, staring at me with a horrible intent in its stalks. It approached me and with its mind control powers it forced me to let it climb inside my mouth, it tasted like mule urine and dull hair and the excruciating pain was too much to bear. This went on for a while and i did some regrettable things to it... Once the ordeal was over I returned home and vowed to slay all remnants of the wicked beast on the entire planet.