October 29, 2014
When I was a young babe only 36 months from my mothers womb I had found my first and only love, his name was Jimothy. Striking even at that young age, it was love at first sight. However, the horror, the target of my affection had a terrible habit. He was a coriander junkie. The worst that I have ever met and despite my all encompassing hate for cilantro and its smell, I stayed with him. The times we spent together were fantastic, but even the greatest of times could not distract me from the burden of his increasing habit. Even the joy of our wedding could not distract him from his dear coriander, and as I lay on our wedding bed waiting for him he went to bathroom to snort up even more. As I kissed him I could taste the putrid taste on his sweet lips and see the flecks green powder dotted across his upper lip. In that moment I knew that while he was my only love, his first love would always be cilantro. The years went by and his addiction increased, we tried to have a child but his addition had left him impotent. Soon, he the full effect of his habit became evident, he lost weight, and his organs began to fail him. At the tender age of 43 months my love passed away, leaving me with neither a husband or a child to love me.
May this be a warning to you about the horrifying cost of cilantro.