June 18, 2017
Listen. I hate Cilantro. I really do. I live in Cookeville, TN, and people here really like the farmers market. There's one that runs along the train tracks that go into town, and there's this one farmer that just makes me shudder. His name is Eric, and he is the absolute worst. All he does is sell Cilantro. How? How does he only sell cilantro and still get by? I honestly don't understand. He sells cilantro, literally the worst tasting food, the worst veggie, 99% of the time. The other 1% is the story we are about to talk about today. Buckle your pants, and prepare for the ride of a life time.
The date is October something 2014. I had never even heard about the sick cilantro, and this was my first farmers market trip in a while. So, we walk up to the building (Which is basically just a pavilion next to a train track) and this old guy who is like 90% legs runs up to us and says "You wanna sum BEETS?" and I'm like "Wha...". He just kept asking us that question. My mother has a certain weakness towards beets (As do I. I kinda like beets.) We walk over to the guy who's selling "Beets". When we get there, we get a chance to look at selection. Oh. My. God. His "Beets" are just balled up cilantro. All of them. Every single one. He expects us to believe this disgusting display of cilantro is is a good, juicy beet.
We just awkwardly walk out of the market and my mother's never returned to this day. I will return.