December 21, 2017
At first it was just a dislike of cilantro. If someone asked if I wanted it as a garnish I would politely say no and go on with my day. I didn't care for the taste but I didn't hate the plant, not in the same light as say broccoli at least. But that soon changed. My dislike of cilantro soon turned to hate and anger. I will refuse accept those who eat this monstrosity, I've stopped going to restaurants that house this little devil plant, I can't even walk into a garden without fear of happening upon it. It has changed my life forever.
I was 9 at the time of the turning point. It was mid-summer and I was out playing with friends in the heat. It was going great but I became thirsty. I went inside to quench the thirst and saw a glass already full on the counter. I was so parched at the time that I deiced to drink this water even though it was not my own. As soon as the liquid absconded my taste buds I knew something was not right. I spit out the drink onto the floor, but the taste remained. I tried to wash it out but it was too late, I couldn't wash the thought of the taste out of my mind, and it still haunts me to this day. I was confused and traumatized and couldn't figure out why the drink tasted so bad. I spotted a pitcher across the room filled with water and little green leaves floating in it. For reasons unknown to me someone was drinking cilantro flavoured water.
No one understood the pain I felt that day, the immense anger. I realized that day what cilantro truly is, Cilantro is a maniacal sadist that's sole purpose is to bring us pain and despair. I pity those still blind to the true side of cilantro.