February 13, 2018
By Smith Smithson
I hate cilantro and my life changed for worst because of it, and I still have nightmares about it. I you have an experience with cilantro seek immediate or it may be too late. It all started on a stormy January 2nd at 8:00pm, my father was making some dinner for the three of us, but suddenly there was a knock on the door and when my Mom opened it revealed that was our family friend Rosemary. When Rosemary she had dinner with us and had discussion with my parents but I got left out. But when my nightmares came true when Rosemary unzipped her bodysuit to reveal our arch-nemesis Cilantro. “NANIIIII” I cried out, Cilantro unsheathed his/her samurai sword and said “you must die Smith-san, I have waited for this moment and YOU WILL DIE!!!” I transformed into optimums-prime to combat the leafy monstrosity but it was to late because Cilantro was behind me, “ OURAE WA SHINDAERU” and immediately my anus when into my mouth. I died, but I came back to life because I am a Christian.