March 09, 2018
Before I continue, I must warn you that this is not for the easily scared. Cilantro is a dangerous and touchy topic that you should not be looking into if you under a certain age. With that said, let's begin.
It all started on an ordinary Friday afternoon. My friends (Kassie and Lizzy) were finally taking up our new year resoulutions and eating healthy. We decided to split up in the shop and meet at the checkout. As I walked down the vegetable and herb isles, something caught my eye: a herb named cilantro. It looked healthy enough, so I took a bundle and began to walk down towards the checkout. But then, I noticed that many of the customers were giving me fearful looks and backing away from me. It was if there was a aura surrounding me: one of grave misfourtune. So I buy the cilantro and walk out the store with my friends. We talk and I mention the strange reaction I got from the shop's customers. They shrugged it off, saying the cilantro was delicious and harmless. Then (before my very eyes), I saw Lizzy take some cilantro and eat it.
This part is still haunting me to this day, so excuse me if I get emotional.
Lizzy was fine at first, and then she became pale, very pale. I freaked out and tried to help, but she turned towards me and flashed a green toothed grin. Her whole body began to change, her arms into leafy stalks, her torso into a thick stem. And before I could do anything, she grabbed Kassie and forced her to eat her. Kassie, with tears in her eyes, obliged and began to froth soap bubbles from the mouth, and changed into one too. By this time, I was determined to rid the world of this cilantro, so I pulled out my MK-47 and did what I had to. Now, I roam the plains, looking for every last stem of cilantro to destroy it from our planet.
I hope you do the same