September 14, 2006
It was the summer of 1998. My friend, Clark, was working at a Lebanese restaurant and wanted me to come in and try the food. Always open to try new things, I decided to give it a go. Upon his recommendation, I ordered the Dijaj Mishwi. The dinner came with a salad, which I was very excited for since I was very hungry. AND I love salad. Well, until that day I did. Anywhoo, my salad FINALLY came, and I dove right in, taking a huge bite. Much to my dismay, this horrible, horrible taste filled my mouth and I wanted to cry. My tongue instantly rejected the foul minty-metally-soapy-poison flavor, and the salad just kind of fell out of my mouth. It was seriously the nastiest thing I had ever encountered. As soon as I regained my composure, I asked my waiter for a new salad, this time without whatever that yucky stuff was. That was the day I met my nemesis - cilantro! Ever since then, I can smell it a mile away (unfortunately). When my roomates are using it to make some homemade salsa, I am immediately nauseated and need to vacate the house. I love Mexican food, but if I go to Taco Del Mar, I have to take an hour lunch just so I can pick every last little nasty flake out of my otherwise delicious burrito. I do love guacamole, but that is something else I cannot have at the above-mentioned establishment. They actually puree the leafy devil into the mixture, so there is no avoiding it. Get with the program, Taco Del Mar!! You could have so much more business if you did not taint everything!!! This is another reason why I cannot really eat Thai or Indian food. It is tasty otherwise. But man, when I get that icky icky crap in my mouth, it's just the worst. I agree with the guy who said we need to ship the rest of the Earth's supply to Venus. However, people who are aware of my aversion to cilantro are also very aware of my unnatural hatred for cucumbers. This is yet another thing that baffles me - how many damn people actually like cucumbers. Even more than cilantro!! AM I ALONE IN THIS HATRED?? Is there www.ihatecucumbers.com? If not, there should be. My stomach turns at the very stench. People have asked me if I had to eat a cup of cilantro or a cup of cucumbers, which would I choose? In all honesty, I think I would have to go with the cilantro. But that is the only case I can think of where I would force it down my throat. In all other instances, cilantro can kiss my ass!