Cilantro NO!
IHateCilantro.com

Cilantro, NO!

Supporting the fight against cilantro!

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A Story


I was a happy teenage girl. I had friends, a boyfriend, a family, a roblox account, and an overall great life. My boyfriend, Lewis, took me out to a fancy mexican restaurant for my 17th birthday. I got a burrito, and so did he. We both took a huge bite, and i spit my mouth full of rice, beans, cheese, beef, and some weird little green thing all over him. ¨What the hell, Lezlie?¨ Lewis said. I turned bright red. Everyone was looking at me. I was so embarrassed. ¨I´m sorry, Lewis, it´s just... what´s that nasty soapy metal taste? Those things that look like grass are DISGUSTING!¨ He looked at me, shock and hurt all over his face. ¨Lez, that´s cilantro. YOU DON´T LIKE CILANTRO?¨ The whole restaurant gasped. ¨Lezlie, I´m sorry. I don´t want to do this, but we can´t be together. I love you, but cilantro is amazing, Lez.¨ He said sadly. I started crying. ¨Lewis, don´t do this. Please, I´m so sorry, I didn´t want to offend you! You´re choosing cilantro over me? Really, Lewis? I can´t believe... I really thought you cared about me.¨ I said through my tears. ¨Oh, Lezlie, it´s not like that, it´s just... I don´t think we could ever be happy together. It´s like if you had a million cats and I was allergic. I´m sorry, I... I need to go.¨ And with that, Lewis left. I trudged home and called my best friends, Kate, Bianca, and Stacey. They all came over and I told them the story. When I finished talking, they all looked at each other. ¨Lezlie, we can´t be friends.¨ Bianca blurted out, standing up. ¨Yeah, sorry Lez, but it´s over.¨ Kate stood too. ¨I... I feel so bad, Lezlie. And on your birthday... It´s just that... well, Cilantro is awesome.¨ Stacey walked over to stand by the other two girls. Silently, they leave my room and shut the door. I start crying again. A few minutes later, my mom and dad rush up stairs. Because I´m their only kid, they´re really overprotective usually. But not this time. ¨Kate, Bianca, and Stacey told us what happened. Get out. Now.¨ Dad yelled. I whispered, ¨Dad, I didn´t-" but Mom cut me off. ¨Lezlie Jane Jackson, get out of our house. Go. Take your piggy bank, and leave.¨ I nodded, still crying. I grabbed the purple smiling pig and left.
It´s been three years. I got a job at McDonalds, and I have just now saved up enough to by a computer. I live in a tiny, run-down appartment in a bad area of town, but it doesn´t matter. I finally am able to share my story. Cilantro will ruin your life. It is disgusting, but if you ever HAVE to eat it... don´t tell someone you don´t like it.
-Lezlie, Cilantro victim.