November 25, 2006
I was in a Mexican restaurant with my wife and friends. I loved Mexican. I ordered a burrito. When the food came I tasted mine and found that it wasn't very spicey. I like hot food so I asked the waiter for some hot sauce. He did not understand what I was asking for and brought me a shallow dish with a greenish oil. I thought it was some kind of pepper extract that was going to be extremely hot so I dipped my finger into it and tested it for heat. It was not hot at all. It was motor oil with a soapy flavor. I sat there in disgust trying to figure out what he thought I said that would prompt him to so blatantly try to off me with poison. My meal was ruined, I was rattled and the waiter AND chef could not explain to me what this vile liquid was. I didn't know what cilantro was at the time but that taste would come back to haunt me many years later.
I was in California on business and the guys I was working with ordered in "the best tacos on the planet". I love tacos! What I got was not a taco! It was a tortilla with meat piled with green parsley. It wasn't parsley. I isolated the familiar obnoxious soapy motor oil immediately with a huge bite. I was instantly transported back to that Mexican place and the bowl of what must have been the oil squeezed from this poisonous plant that I had in my mouth. I never swallowed. I couldn't. It came straight back out into the foil wrapper as quick as it went in. I looked around expecting to see fingers pointing and laughter bellowing at my expense to this obvious joke. Everyone just sat there and ate. They were eating the same thing I was and no one was puking. I asked someone what the green stuff was and I have been trying to avoid it ever since.
Family and friends find it amusing to try and sneak the crap into my food. I find it every time and I can't eat anything after. Very funny. I'm very sick of it. I think I'll start loading all of my dishes with habaneros and see how they like that! I'll just say "Keep eating, you'll get used to it".