January 31, 2007
Thank God for IHateCilantro.com!! It's wonderful to know that one is neither crazy nor alone.
I have been the object of derision for years among my friends with reptilian palates who adore cilantro. When we go to a restaurant where the putrid weed is featured (just about everywhere), they stuff handfuls of the venemous foul substance into their mouths just to make me gag. They find this amusing, as they themselves can't seem to get enough of the stuff.
About a month ago, I had three traumatic cilantro experiences in the space of a week. In three different restaurants, I was served the demon weed after I had specifically requested decent, uncontaminated (cilantro-free) food. In one restaurant, after I expressed my disgust, the staff thought they could merely pick out the larger pieces from the soup and I wouldn't notice. WRONG!!! I can detect a single molecule of the toxic filth and won't hesitate to send any such polluted dish back to the kitchen.
We who are fortunate enough to reside at a point higher up on the evolutionary scale must speak up. If enough of us react violently when served even the most miniscle amount of the abomination called cilantro (even the sound of it is ugly), then maybe restaurants and hosts will think to offer it only to those who actually like it, limiting its distribution to the more limbic-brained among us. Eventually the mechanism of natural selection will cleanse the gene pool of those defectives who cannot recognize toxic substances that were never meant to be ingested except by the most primitive organisms.
Hopefully some catastrophic event will destroy all the cilantro on the planet, and we can live without fear and dread.