June 09, 2007
Let me take in this moment to deeply embrace my brothers and sisters all over the world who may be so very different than myself, but share this bond in the loathing of this vile weed. It's not the rum speaking...honestly. So many times I have gone to dim-sum to find myself wondering just what it is in certain things that wold be so wonderful without the detergent-like note. I found out what it was....its name...the name of unspeakable evil...YOU KNOW WHAT. I imagined cooks covered in baby fat in goat-leggings in the kitchen poisoning our otherwise wonderful foods with biological weaponry. Worst of all is the dread GARNISHING! For asthetics, one would render an entire chafing dish of panir tika masala not fit for flushing down the loo (even sewer rats don't deserve such treatment). Why not simply pour pretty, shiney quicksilver all over it for the same reason. I wish to bless my ever-so-understanding Vietnamese Pho chefs for respecting my wishes. I could not live without Pho. They do seem puzzled with my request, but they do make good on it. I went in loaded for bear, but they were very cool. I was ready to use a modified Stewy Griffin threat, "For every piece of cilantro I find, I shall kill you".